This is from an upcoming eBook, Video Course I’m doing
We Are All Liars.
(Unlocking The Truth)
We cannot become the Unicorn If we do not know where we are today. But we can never find out where we are today because we are all liars. We lie to our bosses, we lie to our families, We lie to our partners, our friends, our kids…
Why do we lie?
Because we’ve been conditioned into it, Media, Reality Tv, Social Media make us feel that the person we are today is not worthy of other people.
It makes us feel that If we give all of ourselves to the people around us then we are not worthy of them, we are not enough for them and if we show our true selves to them then we’ll end up alone.
So we lie in hopes that we will be enough, that we will be worthy and that we will be loved. The issue is that when we start a relationship with a lie, we have to keep that lie up.
So we live our life with multiple personalities and multiple versions of you like,
The work version of you
The friends version of you
The partner version of you
The Parent version of you
The Public version of you…
Think of it this way, what would people say at your wake about you? Nobody would have the same thing to say because you are not the same person around people.
All these lies put up a wall between you and them, A wall of bullshit, A wall of separation and you will never truly connect with them because there is too much distance between you and them, They don’t know who your truly are. Why should you hide yourself in a box and suppress yourself to make others feel comfortable around you?
We act so differently around so many people that we forget who we truly are. Where does that leave us…
But the person we lie to the most
We tell ourselves that we are going to this and we are going to do that but we don’t.
We tell ourselves that we are Ok when we’re in pain.
We tell ourselves that we don’t care when we do.
We tell ourselves so many lies so we put a wall of separation between ourselves, The person we are pretending to be and the person at our very own soul, The person we truly are.
Because we don’t think we are worthy of the world.
Because we are scared of turning our darkness into light
Because we are scared of who we could become.
So when we declare that we are going to become this person in the future, The person of your deepest desires (Your Unicorn.)
Its coming from a place that you are not. Its coming from a place of Bullshit.
Because you cannot declare who you are going to be in the future, When you do not know who you are today.
The person you are not cannot tell you who you are going to be.
It does not have the power to declare that.
So we need to get the bullshit out of your mind.
We need to own who we are today.
When you own who you are today, you open up another version of you. You open up the Unicorn inside of You… The impossible version of you.
Can you own who you are today?
Can you say without holding back here is the person I am today without the bullshit.
Once you can own who you are today. You will experience a death.
A death of the old version of you. The lies are gone, The fantasy life you are projecting disappears. And you are left with clarity.
This is who I am. This is where I am.
And with that Clarity you are Reborn. But only if you let go of the stories and the lies, Only then you can be reborn and take the steps towards that Mythological version of you.
Lets Unlock the Truth.
Everytime you lie,you hide a part of yourself in a box, and that box is killing you. With each piece of the truth you uncover that box starts to expand and light starts to creep in. Eventually the box will break and you won’t feel the need to hide anymore, You won’t be able to once you’ve seen the light..
Q. What’s the biggest lie you tell yourself?
Take the time to answer this and really dig deep and think about it. You can’t break out of the box if you only half ass the truth. The first time I was ever asked the question I had to do a 2 minute live video in a group of 800. You don’t have to do that; you can keep the answer to yourself or in a journal (Recommended.)
Here was my original answer –
The biggest lie I tell myself is that I am an entrepreneur. When really deep down I feel like a fraud, The reality is I hide behind my business partners hoping they do the work and I do the easy stuff behind the scenes.
I later changed it after sitting with the question for some time to –
My biggest lie is that I am ok. I show the world a fake smile and pretend everything is ok when the reality is I’m actually not. I tell myself that I am Stoic, that external events can’t hurt me and I like my own company… I don’t need anybody. When I actually go home every night and sedate myself with Whiskey. When I can’t shake the empty feelings of loneliness and the burden of what I allowed my 2020 to be, Hiding behind procrastination and other people I was not ok and admitting that to myself took a lot of weight off my shoulders.
We have been conditioned into believing that opening up is weak. So we shield our hearts and we lie. But as I’ve mentioned that just puts us in a box. A dark box at the bottom of an empty pit and that shield around our hearts gets tighter and tighter and slowly kills us. So don’t be afraid to get vulnerable, Let’s break through that box. Once you have sat with that question for a while it’s time to move on to the lie we tell others.
Q. What is the biggest lie you tell other people.
What is the wall of separation you put between you and your – Partner/Kids/Family/Employer/Employees/Friends etc… Who are you pretending to be.
My biggest lie was that I am doing this for you. Working long hours, not paying my way etc so I can build a better life for them. The reality of this was just me working 80+ hours a week leaving myself too exhausted to even send a good morning text… What was I doing for them, Nothing but procrastinating and putting time and energy into my night job. The other part of my biggest lie to others I mentioned above, that I am ok.
Q. Who Am I?
We’ve created this fairytale fictional world filled with stories and lies, so many stories, so many lies that when we get hit with this basic question, Who are you? It kind of feels like someone has hit us in the head with a frying pan.
We blurt out random words and sound like Boris giving a speech Eh,Blu, Durh, Well I, Urm…
Who are you?
Well there is you on the surface level,
This is the level you think is acceptable to other people, What you think they want to hear. So you tell them a story version of you and put yourself into a box.
I got called out on this when I was in Rome back in August. Having a chat over a few cocktails with some fellow Brit we met and he asked us what we did, You know general small talk…
I replied with ‘Oh I’m just a security guard’
He said why did you say Just a security guard, why did you put yourself down like that?”
And I was stumped. Why did I do that? Why didn’t I tell him about my businesses or my blogs… Why did I tell him only what I thought he wanted to hear?
Because I’m a liar. And I thought I wasn’t worthy of some strangers’ approval (We kept in touch though he’s a pretty sound guy.)
So get your journal and answer as honestly as you can Who Am I. Not who you want to be or what you think other people want to hear, Just who you are today.
Q. Why Am I
Why are you here…
What is your purpose?
This question is like the question of who am I, can stump a lot of people. Especially when we’ve stumbled upon and into most things that happen to us in life. Why are we here Que the Boris speech again… Urrr
Why am I here. This is a question I found myself asking a lot, Especially during the back end of 2020 staring at one two many empty whisky glasses. Why the fuck am I here, What I am doing?
Sedating, playing the victim, throwing everything I have learnt out of the window, Just letting life kick me and shove me back into that dark box.
What is the purpose of life?
Lets look at the question with one answer, This one answer we can take into any area of our life and this one answer is how we get to that Unicorn.
The purpose of life is expansion.
We are the stories we believe the most. Those stories put us into a box. If we tell ourselves the story that the purpose of our life is to expand then that box has to expand with us.
We are the only consistent variable in our life. Everything else from the bills that get posted through the letter box and everything that happens when we walk out of the front door is unpredictable.
Anything can happen and we have zero control over them. Getting dragged along the motor way by an arctic truck, Getting billed £850 for something, Covid closing the world down, Your partner breaking up with you… All these things can happen (Alot of those I mentioned happened to me in the space of a few months.)
Life is random and you can just sit there and let life happen to you.
Or you can be the controlling force in your life, You can happen to life by not being the victim and being the cause for your life.
Take ownership. Through expansion. To simply be more than you were yesterday. Not just to talk about it like I did when I was working 80 hours a week and throwing lies to my ex saying I’m working on something when I was probably just on Instagram most of the night. Be the cause of your life.
That Cause Is Your Purpose.
So one night sat there with a glass of whisky writing some sad poems feeling sorry for myself, Surrounded by personal development and Philosphy books I had the realiseation that I was letting life happen to me. No wonder I was getting kicked to the curb by life, I had keeled over and let it.
All I had to do was return back to where my thoughts kept taking me over the years and return to my Purpose and expand one day at a time.
Why Am I?
Why are you on Earth?
Now as mentioned, not many people know what their purpose is, I’m a believer in that purposes can change and that one path leads you onto another,
In Highschool I wanted to be a firefighter which led me on to a college course where I stumbled into nutrition, Which led me to a Health and personal training degree, Which led to personal training, Which led to business, which led to here… There were many ups and downs during this 10-15 years even though my purpose changed slightly throughout those 15 years it still ran a similar course.
To help you answer the above question, What’s the thing you keep saying you want to do but never got round to it, What is that itch you have never scratched. Who is it your kids want to see you be.
Where am I?
We’ve broken down your lies, to yourself, to others, We dug deep into who we are and why we are here. Now in order for us to move forwards on this journey to the impossible, we need to know where we are right now.
The foundations we are going to set for everything moving forward cannot be built on sand. They need a solid foundation. Long before any house or skyscraper is built the foundations are planned. They don’t just rock up and start digging, they plan and plan, they assess the land and they plan the foundation on their findings.
Solid Foundation or Fantasy?
Unless you get real honest about where you are right now everything you are trying to achieve will stay in your imagination or worse, You will take action but you didn’t do your research on the foundation so you built a house or a business on sand and it crumbled.
From this point on we are not building on quicksand. We are not liars, We focus on the Facts.
So we are going to look at the facts of where we are right now.
Here is what we are going to do.
We are going to take 4 things that are working and 4 things that are not working in some key areas of life.
Body, Carrer/Business, Personal Development, Balance (If you have a family)
Take the time with these, let’s set some solid foundations for the next section.